I fear that too many of these meetings are too push the youth program. True, getting the detailed information into the parents' hands in a forum where they can ask questions is helpful. But parents of teens need more than that and you are in a position to offer that.

Barna Research Group ran a survey among parents asking what was important to them in raising their own children. George Barna's synopsis of the study was: "You might expect that parents who are born again Christians would take a different approach to raising their children than did parents who have not committed their life to Christ- but that was rarely the case. ...It often seems that their faith makes very little difference in their lives. This new study helps explain why that is: believers do not train their children to think or act any differently. When our kids are exposed to the same influences, without much supervision, and are generally not guided to interpret their circumstances and opportunities in light of biblical principles, it's no wonder that they grow up to be just as involved in gambling, adultery, divorce, cohabitation, excessive drinking and other unbiblical behaviors as everyone else. What we build into a child's life prior to the age of 13 represents the moral and spiritual foundation that defines them as individuals and directs their choices for the remainder of their life." (Parents Describe How They Raise Their Children," February 28, 2005)

You know this firsthand. So many youth workers complain about dry cleaner parents who drop their child off and expect him/her to be returned all clean and proper and practically sealed in plastic. But the answer to this problem starts and ends in the home with the Holy Spirit working in the middle.

Barna emphasized in his synopsis, AThe fact that most Christian parents overlook this critical responsibility is one of the biggest challenges to the Christian church." This is where you are so important. You see the results of this firsthand and are in a position to help the parents and to be a part of this role that the Christian church must change.

Too many parent meetings are designed to help the parents (particularly the dry cleaner parents) buy into the youth program. This is the wrong purpose. It may work for you to achieve the immediate result but you really want your teens to serve God over the long haul, to actually live a live that honors God 24/7 and clear into adulthood. To really do this, you've got to help your parents. All the studies say so. Experience says so too.

At the parent meetings of the youth ministry at my church (we do three a year and this is my primary role at my church), I purposely bring up a youth culture subject to pass on some important information to the parents because 1) it is important in the world of teens; 2) my previous agendas were all self-serving to the youth ministry agenda. My little youth culture spot (helped by Stuffnet) always takes on life as parent after parent share about the topic and then about other stuff they face daily with their teen. Parents encourage each other, parents gain new insight and I always sit back and watch. I cherish these moments. My parent meetings provide a little support group time for parents who face battles every day. And I am able to give them that. I don't have to be the older and wiser experienced parent to provide this. So many young youth workers feel inadequate to provide any parent training because they are young and inexperienced. With a prepared culture blurb, I don't have to lead but I can provide the launching point for real parent training as parents share with each other what they have done or what they have learned the hard way.

I will do that as often as I can. The bonus is that I do get to pass on calendar details.
Another result is that parents want to come to these meetings for those moments of support.

To quote an article I have copied and passed out and forwarded to many, many youth workers: AYouth pastors can help families navigate through difficult times, help parents recover from mistakes that they've made with their own children, help bring grace into the home rather than judgment and harshness, help bring peace and a fragrance of love into a home where different types of counsel would create opposition in the home. Youth pastors can really make a family a great family. Raising children does not have to be tough, and a youth pastor can make raising children much much easier. If the youth pastor and the parents are friends as they're walking through the years, then that really helps." (Ted Haggard, New Life Church, Colorado Springs quoted from ParentMinistry.org, June 16, 2004)

I couldn't say it any better. Do something greater than a parent meeting that pushes your youth ministry program.