Church Youth Ministry: Jesus is in the Story of Scars

From the book Story by Steven James:  “I imagine the following conversation (or something like it) happening in the dawn before my birth.  An angel leans over and says, ‘See this?  This is skin.  I’m going to wrap it tightly around your body.  It’ll protect you and cover you.’

“‘Skin?  But why do I need it?’

“‘Look at you now, without it!  Yuck.  Imagine going out into the world like that!’

“‘Good point…’

“‘So, anyway, it’ll grow with you and then come off when it’s supposed to.  But don’t take it off too early.  That wouldn’t be too smart.  And besides, it would hurt.’

“‘Hurt?  What is hurt?’

“‘It’s something that covers the world like this skin will cover you.  Don’t be afraid of it, but don’t seek it, either.  Hurt is the greatest teacher of all, but sometimes the lesson comes too late.’

“‘I don’t understand.’

“‘You will.’

“‘Oh…well, what’s skin like?’

“‘Natural and comfortable and dry, better than Gore-Tex.  And it’s sensitive too; it can feel everything from fire to ice, from smooth silk to rough wood.  It doesn’t like to be out in the sun too long, though, ultraviolet light and all.’

“‘Huh?’

“‘Never mind…And your skin will want to touch and be touched.’

“‘Touch?’

“‘Yes, the most wonderful thing skin can do is touch.’

“‘Oh.  Anything else?’

“‘Yes.  Skin can also scar.’

“And then before she could tell me what scars were, I was born so I could find out for myself.”

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From John 20:24-28:  “Although Thomas the Twin was one of the twelve disciples, he wasn’t with the others when Jesus appeared to them. So they told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’

“But Thomas said, ‘First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won’t believe unless I do this!’

“A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples and said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!’

“Thomas replied, ‘You are my Lord and my God!’”

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Scars.  Our teens live with them.  So do the parents of the teens.  So do your adult leaders.  So do you.  We all have this common bond.   It is a good bond to share.

The Naked Generation publicly bears their scars anyway they can.  Ask a skateboarder.  They will show their scars and tell with pride each story about which feat, or which act of stupidity, led to that scar.  This sharing of scars among skaters is one of bonding and even one-upmanship.  Others purposely scar their skin with tattoos.  How many of those tattoos on those late teen bodies carry a meaning about overcoming or persevering?  Ask.  They will gladly share their scar story represented by that tattoo with you.  MySpace and Facebook pages tell stories about people’s lives.  They are places where scars are shared for all to read.  Then there are the emotional scars that you see in your teens when the Holy Spirit reveals them to you.  These scars move you to compassion.

Every life is a story and every story must have conflict—otherwise it is not a story.  Conflict and thus scars cannot be chemically silenced or medicated away.  They are part of life.  Skin is wonderful but it does scar.

Yet culture tries to chemically silence or medicate scars away.  The Cassandra Report is a high-dollar marketing report which peers into the minds and culture of tweens and teens.  The latest report named one of the upcoming trends for 2008 as Happy-Nomics.  Basically the trend is “Finding happiness is the ultimate, and generally most elusive and arduous, pursuit. Even with all the opportunities of the great ‘American Dream’ at their fingertips, anti-depressant popping suburbanites keep the pharmaceutical industry thriving. Of late, academic, business, and medical researchers are all delving into the study of happiness, in an attempt to decipher what makes people feel satisfied, optimistic, and even laugh and smile more. A new branch of psychology, called positive psychology, focuses specifically on the topic of mental wellness.”  (The Cassandra Report, IG’s Trendcentral, January 28, 2008)  Loads of medicine and new psychology practices are doing what they can do to hide scars—both physical and emotional.

Of course, while one part of the academic world revs up their focus on happiness, another part of the academic world is doing the direct opposite.  Lately a professor at New York University, Jerome Wakefield, has coauthored a book entitled, The Loss of Sadness:  How Psychiatry Transformed Normal Sorrow into Depressive Disorder.  Wakefield is of the opinion that feeling down is normal and even wholesome. Meanwhile his students are eager to share their scars with him as a means to help his work as well as simply to be heard.  They tell him that their parents are pressuring them to seek counseling and other medical intervention for their sadness (some Zoloft, dear?) and the kids want no part of it. As this professor is discovering, rather than “listening to Prozac” students want to listen to their hearts and not have them chemically silenced.  (Newsweek, February 11, 2008)

This is the bottom-line.  We need to teach the Naked Generation how to find Jesus in their story including in the conflict.  I know that at every summer camp I speak at, I am sure to have at least one message on where Jesus is in their story of scars.  I do it because it is the one night that most of the teens gain the greatest understanding.  The counselors too.

Back in November of 2007, Christianity Today ran an internet poll asking the question, “Have you ever felt abandoned by God?”  The answers from the assumed Christian readers were:

• 28% Yes, and I was devastated

• 44% Yes, but I relied on God’s word

• 10%, Yes, but I rarely experience his presence

• 18%, No, I usually experience His presence

Where do you fall in this survey?  For me personally, it is somewhere between “Yes, and I was devastated” and “Yes, but I relied on God’s word.”  I’ve definitely been scarred and I’ve definitely have not found any easy answers through those many dark days.  That darkness did devastate me but it also did make me who I am today because I solely could rely on God’s word.  That is my brief story.  I’ve addressed the conflict but I’ve not told the story only because there is another place and time for that.

Yet, purposely or by false association, the Christian faith is portrayed as an elixir for pain, a path to happiness, and/or a life of abundant living which means no more pain.   Happy-nomic faith, anyone?  Thus a life without scars or some superpowered scrubber that takes away scars.  Not true.

Look closely at the words of Psalm 88:
You keep me safe, LORD God.  So when I pray at night,
please listen carefully to each of my concerns.
I am deeply troubled and close to death;
I am as good as dead and completely helpless.
I am no better off than those in the grave, those you have forgotten and no longer help.
You have put me in the deepest and darkest grave;
your anger rolls over me like ocean waves.
You have made my friends turn in horror from me.  I am a prisoner who cannot escape,
and I am almost blind because of my sorrow.  Each day I lift my hands in prayer to you, Lord.
Do you work miracles for the dead?  Do they stand up and praise you?
Are your love and loyalty announced in the world of the dead?
Do they know of your miracles or your saving power in the dark world below where all is forgotten?
Each morning I pray to you, Lord.
Why do you reject me?  Why do you turn from me?
Ever since I was a child, I have been sick and close to death.  You have terrified me and made me helpless.
Your anger is like a flood!  And I am shattered by your furious attacks
that strike each day and from every side.
My friends and neighbors have turned against me because of you, and now darkness is my only companion.

This could be scratched on a bathroom wall or turned into a tattooed symbol.

This is straight Bible.  This truth does not weaken the power of Jesus, the promise of a transformed life, or what abundant living truly means.  Jesus in red letters promised in Matthew 11:28, “If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest.”   This tells me that I will have burdens and the promise is I will receive rest.

Youth ministry needs to be a place where all can show scars, share scars and together discover where Jesus is in the story.  This is a simplified statement that holds many creative opportunities for you to explore.