Self-Compassion

shoes3“Self-compassion means not having to be right all the time. Letting myself off the hook if I’ve tried my best and things didn’t come out like I wanted. A lot of it is forgiveness. I get to be a mortal. I don’t have to be better or stronger than other people. I get to just be a fallible, wonderful, person like everyone else. It means I’m not special, but in a good way.” –Laura Simms

I took this quote from this article from PsychologyToday.com. The article is simply quotes from 25 women authors about self-compassion. Authors have particular issues with negative self-talk as they push themselves through the process of creating great works. This is what makes these quotes so encouraging to read.

So along the way in your quest to live bravely, be encouraged and live with compassion for yourself.

Other great quotes: Continue reading

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The Fear of Hot Grits Won’t Stop Me

shoes3I love this quote:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

–Dr. Brene Brown (of course)

I included this quote into a letter I sent to one of our “sons” who is serving year 15 of a 30-year sentence. He is still serving time in a supermax prison (google everything scary about prisons and you’ll see what a supermax is). The reasons why he is still there have a lot to do with how badly we need prison reform but that is another blog topic I doubt I will get into.

I gave him this quote in response to a question he asked me. He has been given a job (rare, again we need prison reform) in the kitchen but asked me this question: “I just got hired to work in the kitchen. Here is some hope for you. I hope no old beef come to haunt me and someone tries to throw hot oatmeal or grease on me. I don’t care about knives but I do care about that hot stuff. How do you defend yourself from hot grease or oatmeal or grits. You can’t. I told you my mind is in a negative place.” Continue reading

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Mental Health and Faith

shoes3Back in the early 1980s when I went to Bible college I chose Behavioral Science as my major. There was no youth ministry major yet at this time and I did not choose the Pastoral Studies major because I was point-blankly told by the chair that it would be best for me to marry a pastor vs. try to learn how to be a pastor. Good thing I was already decided upon my Behavioral Science major or I would have been even angrier.   (I’m still angry.)

I knew in choosing Behavioral Science that I was better equipping myself for ministry with youth. I knew knowing about mental health issues was going to be of benefit to me in the long haul. And it has over and over and over again.

Thankfully within the past year mental health issues and faith are finally coming to the forefront of ministry conversations. Sadly this came as the result of the suicide of Rick and Kay Warren’s son who long battled mental health issues. Thankfully they are leading the charge on this open discussion in the midst of their grieving. I am grateful.

Somewhat like my beloved Abigail did in her recent post, I’d like to include some links for you on the issue of mental health and faith. Continue reading

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Information :D

crazywriterOne of my recent password-protected posts has inspired me to go on an informative mission. I would really like for people to understand mental illnesses better. In an ideal world, there would be no stigma, shame, or trivialization. I strongly believe that such a world can exist, but we must work towards it. And you know, this is important. Because 26 percent of American adults has some sort of mental illness (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml). Guys, that’s a little more than one in four. One in four. Don’t act like mental illnesses are reserved for people who “seem” crazy. We are normal people. We are among you. (That sounds like a like from a horror film, sorry.)

Oh, and before I start, I just want to say that I didn’t come up with the idea to bombard you with a ton of links. I kinda took it from a friend who did this a few months ago…but I get a considerable amount of publicity on this blog, so I thought it would be helpful to put it here. I will also include additional information that I may find helpful.

Okay, now I can begin. All the information! Continue reading

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I’m Giving Myself a New Title – Dating Coach

shoes3One thing I’ve become very good at is dating and relationship advice. After 34 years of working with teenagers who always grow up to become dating young adults, I have become a go-to person for dating and relationship advice. I now even have camp counselors seeking me out year round for this advice. I would like to be asked about other life advice occasionally but it is mostly about dating. dating coachI have somehow become very good at this. Maybe because I have so many strong opinions on this. Hmmm…

Being sought out for this makes me very glad. I very much want my grown teens to marry wisely. I do have a personal agenda here.


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Salem and Sinatra

Crazy ScottyIt is a little-known fact that when Arthur Miller wrote the 1996 screenplay for his play The Crucible, a fictionalized account of the Salem witch trials, he wrote an all-new scene which allowed for a brief cameo of one of his favorite performers. Thankfully, for film buffs everywhere, 20th Century Fox has just released the original shooting script for the 1996 film, and has allowed my humble little blog to bear its debut to the world. Prepare your eyes.crucible

ACT II, Scene 2.
The vestry room of the Meeting House where an examination is going on as curtain rises.

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Vulnerable Ananias

shoes3I’m nearly sure my readers are familiar with the conversion story of Paul. It is a story my son, Terrill, loves the most. It is a story that most of us love as it is amazing.

For vulnerability sake, let’s take a look at this beloved story from the view point of Ananias, the one Saul/Paul was told to go to after his no-doubter experience on the road to Damascus.

Acts 9:11-16 – Now there was a believer in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, calling, “Ananias!” “Yes, Lord!” he replied. The Lord said, “Go over to Straight Street, to the house of Judas. When you get there, ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying to me right now. Continue reading

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