Perfectionism is exhausting. You are trying, planning, scheming all the time to make it to a place which you have deemed is successful yet that feels so far away. It is far away because it truly is far away. You will never get there no matter how much you try, plan, and scheme. You can’t get there because you are missing the core truth. You are acceptable now. All the trying, planning, and scheming will not make you acceptable. It can’t because you already are.
This is a hard truth to believe. It takes bravery to believe that you are simply accepted. But know this—your perfectionism is really a form of shame. Perfectionism is the belief system that if you can be perfect in everything, you can avoid or minimize feelings of judgment and shame. You are not going to allow anyone else to shame you, so you are going to do everything you can to live perfectly. And if you fail (as surely you will) you and only you will punish you.
Perfectionism is a constant hustle. Aren’t you exhausted? Continue reading
I’m reading a book this week. How to Get a Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating in Six Months or Your Money Back by Dr. Henry Cloud. I’m not reading this book to get a date. John and I date every Sunday as we watch 3 full football games together. That is a great date. I’m reading this book because I love my role as a dating coach.
I’m so intrigued with this book. Like this from page 16: “How do you know God hasn’t brought ten great men into your life, but you have things of you that make you incapable of feeling what you would need to feel for them? How do you know your issues aren’t getting in the way of recognizing and falling in love with a good man if he did come along? Why do you just assume this is God’s fault?”
And from page 24: “At first I was tempted to buy into the single men and women’s summation of the problem: Continue reading
I’ve asked God why many many times. This week. Last week too. I’m a wrestler with God so this is common for me.
Here is the wow thought from p. 53:
“The anthropologist Margaret Mead used to ask her lecture audiences, ‘What would you say is the earliest sign of civilization?’ She would field such replies such as ‘a clay pot’ or ‘tools made of iron’ or ‘the first domesticated plant.’ Then she would say, ‘Here is my answer,’ and hold up a human femur, the largest bone in the leg, pointing to a thickened area where the bone had healed after a fracture.
“As Mead observed, ‘Such signs of healing are never found among the remains of the earliest, fiercest societies. In their skeletons we find clues of violence: a rib pierced by an arrow, a skull crushed by a club. Continue reading
Are you watching a young person you love make bad decisions and fear for his/her future?
Insights from Inside is a collection of letters written from inmates to young people. It is from an organization called Proactive Prison Prevention and the book can be ordered from insightsfrominside.com. The book is not overwhelming at 68 pages with each letter averaging about 2-pages. Each letter is followed with good discussion questions.
Each letter reveals at least one truth that is counter to the lies of “the street.” And that is the power of this resource. Each letter exposes how you lose the right to have any say over your life; how your friends you swear loyalty to on “the street” do leave you; what thinking errors led to incarceration; the danger of riding in cars; the pain you cause your mother; and many other real truths. The book reveals the truth of the future that is in store for a young person who is making bad decisions. Continue reading
Os Guiness is a philosopher and apologist, sort of a modern-day C. S. Lewis. At least that is how his books and podcasts have come across to me. He is also a MK or missionary kid. Both his parents and grandparents were medical missionaries in China. He is also a Guiness—that Guiness. He is great-great-great-grandson of Arthur Guinness.
He is living a legacy and will leave a legacy.
During a podcast he shared a story about his great-great grandmother. The Guiness family journals show that she prayed every day for 12 generations of Guinesses to pass on their faith to the world. Os Guiness is only the 4th generation. He considers all of his work (and there is lots of it) to be the result of her prayers.
Prayers for the 12th generation… Continue reading
Back at Christmas of 1986 I was taken by a new song on the new Randy Stonehill album entitled “Out on the Wild Frontier.” It was stuck in my head (sometimes still gets stuck in my head) but more importantly, it felt like a life song for me. It has become a life song for me.
Come where the Big Wind blows
Out on the wild frontier
Follow where it goes
Out on the wild frontier
It’s as close as your heartbeat
It’s as far as your fear
It’s beyond the great horizon
Out on the wild frontier
Doesn’t that sound like living vulnerably which leads to a life of bravery? Life with God is as close as your heartbeat and is as far as your fear.
That led me to come up with a life statement in 1990: “Every other human being has no choice but to bow to their human limitations. Only believers can draw upon God’s supernatural power to live beyond their limits.” Continue reading