Of course, the title caught my attention.  The opening paragraph raised my ire.

“THIS WAS NOT BRAVE, declared fashion blogger Jessica Kane, as she posted a photo of herself in a swimsuit. “I’ve been told how brave I am for not having a coverup,” she said, “but going without a wrap would only take bravery if I cared what others thought of me, but I don’t.”

The second paragraph made me shout “amen.”

“Kane added, “Things that DO take bravery? A family battling tragic illness, a mother trying to beat addiction, a person trying to break free of domestic violence, reaching out for help when you have already planned your suicide and feel like you can’t breath one more day. THAT is brave.”

So please read the entire thing.  There will be no dumbed-down bravery on this site.

The Dumbing-Down of Bravery

I have already shared how I never was on the courting bandwagon.  I never read I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  I never taught it in a youth ministry context.  I don’t have a background in this belief to offer a comparative perspective to brave dating.

Some of you do.  Hence I pass on this article to give you that comparative perspective.

Why Christians Should Kiss Courtship Goodbye

“I thought we were way past the “Courtship vs. Dating” debates.

“I thought that was old news, that we’d laid to rest the I Kissed Dating Goodbye era and moved on to new topics.

“But apparently, I was wrong. Maybe you’ve noticed, but the Courtship movement has recently received some major attention from both national television and recent entertainment. To be honest, I have no problem with Courtship. I am not putting down the concept of courtship, and I never will. The truth is, different personalities need different approaches to relationships. And for some people, Courtship is what works!

My only problem comes, then, with how “Dating” gets compared to ‘Courtship’ in such a flawed and negative way. As far as the Courtship movement is concerned, saying that you’re in a ‘dating’ relationship is almost like declaring out loud that you’re living in sin.”

Read the rest at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/why-christians-should-kiss-courtship-goodbye#DZ5J1CBscYYf7KSv.99

What a brave thought.  Live original.  But this thought does not originate with me.  It does with Sadie Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame—whom God seems to be granting a special platform.

I work with a lot of teen girls and body image issues are prevalent. They always have been. It doesn’t matter what decade. Yet every decade something new must be hated about our bodies. Now we have the “thigh gap.” “What?” says all of the “old folks.” Thigh gap is too much a part of today’s teen conversations. And how is one to increase their thigh gap when this is yet another feature that relies heavily on DNA. Some thigh-gappers are bow-legged (like Sadie) and is that the real answer? #thigh gap is stupid.

Unfortunately, body image issues are not just a teen girl problem. Teen boys are also feeling the pressure. Young men are too. And women—no matter how old we grow we still deal with issues of hating our body.

Jesus came down and put on this same flesh that we have to give us all a chance. This same imperfect flesh. He wore it proudly and humbly. I doubt Jesus had the broad-shoulders, 6-pack abs, perfect V-shape that haunts men. Continue reading →

I received this message from a senior in high school:

“I’m being an idiot about this, but I’ve considered telling him. If it’d turn out that he didn’t feel the same, I’d say someone took my phone. That’s what I’ve been thinking about. I’m prolly not going to say anything…I’m so confused right now.”

I’m honored to be asked this question. I have a lot of strong opinions about guy/girl relationships (you think?!!) so I certainly had an answer. It is always an honor to be trusted with this vulnerability.

Can you figure out what is at the core wrong about this question?

The brave step is being made to change the relationship. This always requires bravery and is encouraged. Taking this brave step through text is not recommended. Text is not personal enough for this personal of a question. If you are taking this brave step, be brave and do it in person. There is risk of rejection–but this is why it is a brave decision. You will gain a bit of respect on either side of the result.

The problem with this question is the lie that would be told. This present and future relationship is okay to this person if a lie is at the foundation. This is the plan that was made.

Sadly beginning a relationship on a lie—or many lies—is all too common. We believe to get a certain someone’s attention we have to contort or distort ourselves. We willingly do it so we can have his attention. Because possibly having his attention means that something is not wrong with me and that I may be loveable. The contortion is worth it to receive this validation. Continue reading →

This character has a lot to do with the teaching theme for the camps I will be teaching at this summer.

To believe you are worthy of love and belonging, so many believe that you must contort yourself to stay in relationships believing that it is the relationship that makes you loveable. The result of this is a lot of numbing behaviors.

We do the same thing in our relationship with Jesus. Because of shame we contort Jesus into an image that makes sense to help us cope.

Actual coloring page

Colossians 2:10 states “You are complete through your union with Christ.” A relationship cannot complete you—unless it is with Jesus. A Jesus true to the word of God, not the creation of your contorted image. You are worthy of love and belonging because God’s desire is to complete you. Continue reading →