Love is Like Green Bananas

bebraveI had a date with a guy once.  His name was Mitchell.  He was in a band that I hired for a youth event and he was pretty insistent on asking me out.  Even the teens knew he was.  I said yes.

On our first date he took me to a nice dinner in dating coachdowntown Minneapolis.  It was a nice dinner and we had a nice conversation.  After that dinner we were walking on that nice summer evening in downtown Minneapolis.  Then suddenly he was down on his knees before me and proposed marriage.  In front of a crowd—who stopped to watch.  I said no to his proposal without even explaining why.  Very loudly to the crowd Mitchell declared, “Love is like green bananas.  It takes time to ripen.”  The date ended shortly after that.

green bananas

When you practice brave dating (dating to find out what your type is and who you are) sometimes you date clunkers.  This is a risk you take.  But isn’t dating always a risk?  This is one of those safer risks.  You aren’t placing so much pressure on this one date because he/she may be “the one.”  You are just dating and learning.

A side benefit is sometimes you get to do some really fun things on that date.  Especially if you can help shape the date idea to be something fun.

Another side benefit is you may have a great story to tell your friends that will cause laughter for many years to come.  You don’t get that story without taking this step of bravery.  And a proposal mixed with love is like green bananas is a story worth telling again and again.

Mitchell and I had a second date, sort of.  His band was playing at the county fair and I was there.  He took me on a ride on the ferris wheel.  At the top of the ferris wheel, he proposed again.  I said no again.  And he confidently said, “Love is like bubbles.  It takes time to rise to the surface.”


I never saw Mitchell again.  But I heard he got married to someone else not too long after.  Is anyone surprised?



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About Be Brave

Brenda Seefeldt began life in youth ministry in 1981. That is before the internet, YouTube, texting and even before PowerPoint. (But it was after flannel boards.) Brenda has written and shared much of what she has learned through the resource of Wild Frontier and in many youth ministry publications as she continues on in youth ministry. Brenda is a brave one. She stutters yet is a national speaker. She loves teaching so much she’s also been a substitute teacher for over 20 years. She’s brave enough to enter any classroom at a middle school. She also simply loves teaching groups, whether they are teens or adults. Due to the many years of youth ministry, Brenda has “coached” many grown teens in dating. She finds herself very opinionated on that with lots to share. Brenda loves her God-given family–four sons and 4 grandchildren. They are God-given, not birthed. That alone is a brave story, one she tells here and there as the story really belongs to her sons.

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