I know a teen. He could look like this.

He has reasons to rage against God. Legitimate reasons. Lots of them. Not-his-fault reasons. Yet he won’t.

I wish he would.

But to do so would open him up to all of his pain. Again, it is legitimate pain. He’d have to feel it. All of it. It would leave him raw. And vulnerable. This is a place he is afraid to go to.

So he numbs himself instead. His numbing choice: video games. All day long (some days literally all day) holed up in his room playing video games while the pain of his parents’ broken marriage plays out in other parts of the home.

It is a swirling and devastating hurricane wreaking havoc on this family and he is the youngest one. He’s rarely directly involved in the wreck of a marriage as he has removed himself from it all for so long. I wish he would stand in the midst of it and yell and scream at God. I wish he would put himself out there. He has a solid teen faith in God but not that deep connection of knowing that God can handle the rage of his parents’ failed marriage and the rage of his disappointment and fears. But he keeps his faith “safe” and numbs himself with hours and hours of video games.

As Lieutenant Dan found out, the peace finally comes. (Yes, I know Lieutenant Dan is a fictional character. Forest Gump is a real person, different name, whom my husband had dinner with.) It was when Lieutenant Dan made himself painfully vulnerable that he was able to embrace the truth and found himself changed.

This teen could use this. This fabulous truth of a daring relationship with God is eluding him. He can’t receive it when he is choosing to numb himself instead.

I wish he would live so daring. He’s a great teen. To release this pain, to throw it violently back at God, to be this vulnerable is frightful. Painful. Exposing. So far he’s not brave enough. Or he’s too comfortable in the world he has created in his bedroom.

“But even in darkness I cannot hide from you.” Psalm 139:12