Facebook: Here, look at all your friends on me.
Me: (looks) Oh, hey, there they are.
Facebook: Seems they’re all getting engaged, married, or pregnant.
Me: Huh. Yeah, I guess a lot of them…
Facebook: (whispers) Love will always elude you.
Me: Wait, what?
Me: Okay. A– You don’t know that, and B– I shouldn’t be looking to romance as some magic elixir which will solve all my…
Me: Yeah, but I’m not, though. I have a lot of people in my life who genuinely care about me, and want to see me do well. I have a God who loves me, despite knowing more crap about me than all of my friends combined. And you? You’re a non-corporeal web service.
Facebook: True. (sigh) You gotta admit, though, I’m a pretty conduit for your deepest fears.
Me: Not today. (signs out of Facebook)
Scotty: 1 Facebook: 0