One Day I'm Going to Fly

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Originally published in June 1994

I wait and I wait and I wait.I know the dreams for my life and I have to wait!I want to go!I want to do!I think I'm ready to go and do but I have to wait!Here I am waiting and waiting and waiting.I may be sounding monotonous but I'm waiting--and I'm tired of it!

"But that’s not all!We gladly suffer..."This waiting is suffering for many numerous reasons for which I'm sure you don't need to hear about.I'm trying to be joyous in this waiting but my joy is more like obedience.I know I am to be joyous somehow.

"...because we know that suffering helps us to endure.And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope." Romans 5:3-4.Do I ever have lots of character!At least that is what my friends and family say.Especially since over the last few years through this suffering I've gained the perseverance to hang on to my dreams, to really believe in my dreams, to fight in prayer for my dreams.This has really developed my character to where I've become a shadow of the person I was a few years ago.

From this character I've gained hope.This hope is what is sustaining me through all this waiting.Bishop T.D. Jakes back when he was at the Temple of Faith in Charleston, West Virginia, preached in his booming voice one Sunday, "You have to persevere even while you are waiting on the promise.There is nothing wrong with your faith because you're in a dry place.It is in the dry place where we learn who God is."I wait and I hope and I wait and I hope--and I'm learning who God is.

Oswald Chambers wrote about this work of perseverance which builds who we are."The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding and more insistent on their own way.(You know people like that, don't you.)The things that happen either make us evil or they make us more saintly, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its level of intimacy."(My Utmost for His Highest).This dry place can either make me or break me.I've got to find that joy because I'm being made sweeter, better, and nobler.Nobility is a characteristic that is fleeting today in every area of life including ministry positions.

"My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble..."I have trouble.Let me tell you.But here is more of that joy in suffering stuff.Pure joy must be the kind of joy that is deep down in you, uncorrupted.I believe corrupted joy would be fleeting and in times like these I need pure joy.

"...You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested.But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking anything."James 1:2-4.

I recently had a conversation with a pastor about an entirely different subject.But in our conversation he shared with me about when he was first called into the ministry.It was later in his life.He told me of what God had placed in his heart and some of the words people spoke over him.Even though he knew confidently about his call he also knew he had to get some things in his life in line before he would walk out this call.This took a couple of years but he knew he had to do it--and is glad he did.

This is what Paul did."You know how I used to live as a Jew. I was cruel to God’s church and even tried to destroy it.I was a much better Jew than anyone else my own age, and I obeyed every law that our ancestors had given us.But even before I was born, God had chosen me.He was kind and had decided to show me His Son, so that I would announce His message to the Gentiles.I didn’t talk this over with anyone.I didn’t say a word, not even to the men in Jerusalem who were apostles before I was.Instead, I went at once to Arabia, and afterwards I returned to Damascus.Three years later.."Galatians 1:14-18a.For three years Paul waited and it was good.

This is opposite of my experience.Before my call I was placed in positions that aligned with my call.Then immediately after my call, I received so many opportunities.I was thrust into great positions all in line with my call.They were exciting times but this work of perseverance of being "mature and complete, not lacking anything"was not worked out in me.That is what these last several years have been where I've been waiting and working and waiting and working.

I never learned about this work of perseverance.It was "You are called!Go forth!""You have been set apart for such a work as this!"And with the blessings I was receiving I could easily see this.In the midst of such high times, I should have set some time apart for waiting, worked out some of those immature and incomplete areas.

We don't often hear about this work of perseverance.It ranks up there with other works such as increasing knowledge and increasing faith.But this work of perseverance is hard to swallow.Life without waiting is what is strived for instead.New methods are sought all the time for a quick and pain free way to exercise for weight loss.And don't make us eat bland, tasteless diet food to meet our goal!For a quick fix for our emotional problems, we try a new relationship, maybe a substance, or a new church.Then there is why should we have to wait until marriage if we love each other now?And to achieve the goals we have set for our lives, whether by us or by God, short cuts are taken.Short cuts which lead to a corruption of character, the loss of nobility.This is the reason for the loss of character in the ministry today.These short cuts do not allow the work of perseverence to finish its work of maturing and completeness which develops character.(To bad that those who do take such short cuts seem to get the recognition and those of us who wait don't.)If the pastor I had talked to had taken short cuts, his church and his life would be completely different.It would be just another church bumbling through darkness other than piercing the darkness which I believe this church is doing.His life would be another one of full of frustrated priorities and little fruit.You may not have heard of him or his church but his character is known in better places.

So I wait and I should wait.In my waiting I am being obedient in little things and the occasional big things.I am walking step by step, not leaps and bounds, toward the goal God has set for me.

I also recently read in Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, "Perseverance means more than endurance--more than simply holding on until the end.A saint's life is in the hands of an archer.God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, 'I can't take anymore.'Yet God pays no attention.He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly."

One day I'm going to fly.